Stoker

Filter Alfred Hitchcock's Shadow of a Doubt through Korean director Park Chan-wook's off-kilter sensibilities, and the result is Stoker, Chan-wook's English language debut feature. It's a nicely shot thriller that's very well-acted, but methodical pacing, a nontraditional story, and some intense violence could easily alienate audiences unfamiliar with the director's prior filmography.

Stoker
Director: Park Chan-wook
Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Matthew Goode, Nicole Kidman

Identity Thief

Following up her breakout performance in 2011's Bridesmaids, Melissa McCarthy stars alongside Jason Bateman in Identity Thief, the newest comedy from Horrible Bosses director Seth Gordon. Gordon has directed some really good stuff in the past - The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, episodes of "Parks and Recreation," "The Office," and "Community," even Horrible Bosses was solid - but the trio of McCarthy, Bateman, and Gordon is no match for the profound crappiness of writer Craig Mazin's abysmal script. Identity Thief isn't as terrible as a post-2005 Adam Sandler movie, but it's definitely one of the worst movies I've seen so far this year. 

Identity Thief
Director: Seth Gordon
Starring: Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy, Robert Patrick, Amanda Peet

Bullet to the Head

Bullet to the Head is an ode to the kind of movies director Walter Hill (The Warriors, 48 Hrs.) and star Sylvester Stallone used to make in their 1980s heyday. Even though this is their first time collaborating, the two are clearly cut from the same cloth; worse, they both share in the delusion that modern audiences want to relive mediocre action cinema. The Expendables films at least have the gimmick of uniting some of the biggest action movie heroes of the 80s and 90s, but Bullet to the Head brings things back to a tired buddy cop scenario, pairing Stallone with Sung Kang (The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift) as the unlikely duo goes out for revenge. This film would have been terrible even among its competition if it was released thirty years ago, but it's especially awful when dumped in the early months of the 2013 movie landscape.

Bullet to the Head
Director: Walter Hill
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Sung Kang, Jason Momoa, Christian Slater, Sarah Shahi

Parker

Parker is the latest film to feature author Richard Stark's literary character on the big screen, though it's surprisingly the first to actually refer to him as "Parker." Mel Gibson played the same dude in Payback but he went by "Porter," Lee Marvin's character was called "Walker" in Point Blank, and now it's Jason Statham's turn to play the career criminal with a chip on his shoulder. But regardless of the name, this movie couldn't make the lead character interesting or memorable, leaving Statham and the rest of the cast trudging through an anemic script under a director with no sense of style.

Parker
Director: Taylor Hackford
Starring: Jason Statham, Jennifer Lopez, Michael Chiklis, Wendell Pierce