Dracula vs. Frankenstein

Apparently there's some sort of Spooktacular Shocktoberfest Big Horror Movie Scare-A-Thon going on around these parts, and it's about time I jumped in and joined the fun. Come along, friends, as we time travel back to 1971 and witness the battle between two of film history's most famous creatures, Dracula vs. Frankenstein!

Dracula vs. Frankenstein
Director: Al Adamson
Starring: J. Carrol Naish, Lon Chaney Jr., Regina Carrol

[Let's stop here before we really begin, just to address this poster. They sexed it up big time, advertising an entirely different film from the one that actually exists. If you're titillated by that, you probably fell for the same gag as anyone who actually went to a theater to see this movie. Continue at your own peril.]

"Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! Heart!"

From the opening credits of the movie, you know this is a pile of crap. This is a terrible film, comparable in quality to the worst movie I've ever seen, Vampires on Bikini Beach. The only thing that saves DvF from taking top honors is name recognition: Dracula, Frankenstein, and legendary actor Lon Chaney Jr.'s last horror performance. A descendant of the original Dr. Frankenstein operates a creature emporium on the Venice Beach boardwalk in California, luring young people in with his midget carnival barker and creepy exhibits. The good doctor injects his hulking mute assistant Groton (Chaney) with some sort of drugs, forcing him to kill random women making out with their boyfriends under the boardwalk. You see, the blood of women who are frightened right before they're killed is much better than normal dead woman blood. (Obviously.) As if that wasn't enough, the most nonchalant Dracula ever committed to screen appears out of nowhere and promises to help revive the Frankenstein monster - who is inexplicably buried in California - in exchange for some of the blood, which will make him immortal and let him take over the world...or something. God, this movie sucked.

Yep. That guy is supposed to be Dracula.

The protagonist is Judith Fontaine, a Vegas showgirl searching for her missing sister (killed by Groton, unbeknownst to Judith). After being drugged in a bar (why?), Judith wakes up in the care of Mike, a hippie who she instantly falls in love with. It's one of the worst romances I've ever seen, especially considering Judith's lack of conviction regarding her missing sister and willingness to throw herself at Mike without a second thought. There's even a godawful love montage on the beach, complete with random shots of seagulls. They run across some more hippies (ugh), who say things like:

"Come on, let's get ready for the big protest tonight."
"What are we protesting tonight?"
"I don't know, but I bet it's fun."

 

Know how to avoid getting murdered under the boardwalk? Get a job.

After twenty or thirty more minutes of utter garbage happening on screen, we end with Judith tied up in a church, now the object of affection for both Dracula and the Frankenstein monster. The two finally fight over her with like five minutes left in the movie (completely misleading title, by the way), stumbling outside for one of the most pathetic excuses of a fight scene I've ever beheld.

A big reason why this movie was so abysmal is because it was originally intended as a biker movie with nothing to do with either of the titular characters; at least that explains the random biker gang that cruises in and out of the picture with no coherence whatsoever. The Frankenstein monster's face looks like it's made out of roasted marshmallows, but it's Dracula who was the most entertaining. He speaks just like Dave Chappelle's version of Prince, but with echo effect, and he seems to be the most apathetic character in the movie. (This is probably due to the fact that he wasn't a real actor - just a producer's stockbroker.) The following is a real exchange from the film:

Dracula appears in a guy's passenger seat as the man drives alone at night.
Guy: Who are you?
Dracula: I am known as the Count of Darkness, the Lord of the Manor of Carpathia. Turn here.
Guy: Who are you?
Dracula (sounding even more bored than before): Keep driving. I'll tell you where.

It goes without saying that the acting is atrocious. Things happen for no discernible reason, and people don't react properly to their surroundings. Many of the actors visibly read their lines from cue cards off camera. The sound quality is deplorable, and the set design is inadequate at best. Blinking lights and the occasional beaker serve as the sad excuse for a lab set, and most of the interiors appear as if they could fall over at any moment. There are some ridiculous kills near the end though, so if that's your reasoning for watching the movie (as it was for me), it may be worth your while just because of how laughably lousy those deaths are.

As terrible as this movie truly is, I can't think of a better way to jump into the first (annual?) Spooktacular Shocktoberfest Big Horror Movie Scare-A-Thon. The only way I can recommend this movie is if you watch it with a bunch of friends to make fun of it (and having a few drinks probably wouldn't hurt). If you're bold enough to give it a try this October, it's available for free on Hulu. Until next time...

The NJNM Podcast: Ep. 61 - Big Trouble in Little China (Guest: Vince Mancini from Filmdrunk)

In this week's episode, Ben and Tyler are joined by Vince Mancini (from Filmdrunk.com) to discuss John Carpenter's 1986 film, Big Trouble in Little China.




Introduction

Character Name Game Intro - 1:49

Media Consumed

Tyler

"Free Agents" cancellation - 2:27
The Burning - 3:53
Bridesmaids - 4:40

Vince
"South Park" - 8:05
"Chopped" - 13:03

Ben

Conan O'Brien Can't Stop - 14:58
Dracula vs. Frankenstein - 20:20

Review

Big Trouble in Little China - 24:45

Wrap-Up

Next Week: Raging Bull -56:32

Listener Voicemail/E-mail/Twitter -57:20

Character Name Game - 1:00:08

Where You Can Find Us -1:02:37

The Ides of March

My primary concern heading into The Ides of March was the possibility of the film being a bit too pretentious for its own good. After all, political dramas have a tendency to be stuffy and have a smug sense of self-importance. Thankfully, none of that is found here. Instead, we get a smart, well-executed story highlighted with exceptional performances and Clooney's sure hand guiding the picture, behind the camera as well as in front of it.

The Ides of March
Co-writer/Director: George Clooney
Starring: Ryan Gosling, George Clooney, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Evan Rachel Wood

In the same way that Moneyball provided a fresh perspective on a baseball movie, The Ides of March gives a dramatic look at the behind-the-scenes scheming of election films. Though Clooney is primarily known as an actor, this is his fourth feature film as a director; with solid movies like Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and Good Night, and Good Luck on his resume, it's no wonder he's able to amass such talented casts for his projects. The multi-talented superstar also lends his hand to the screenplay, co-writing with his producing partner Grant Heslov and Beau Willimon (whose play, "Farragut North," is the source material for this movie). Clooney's collected persona seems to permeate the film through every frame: the movie itself definitely takes a stand for one side of the political spectrum (Clooney himself is an outspoken Democrat), but The Ides of March is impressive because it has a sense of conviction without condemnation. The ideas presented are not preached but practically stated, and regardless of the audience's personal political beliefs, anyone can watch this movie without his or her feathers being ruffled too much.

While idealistic political advisor Stephen Meyers (Gosling) masterminds the primary campaign for Democratic candidate Mike Morris (Clooney), the young consultant makes some troubling discoveries about loyalty, compromise, integrity, and the reality of politics. Tempted by his enemies (Paul Giamatti as the rival campaign manager), seduced by an intern (Evan Rachel Wood), tested by his boss (Philip Seymour Hoffman as Morris' campaign leader), and hounded by a reporter (Marisa Tomei as a journalist for the New York Times), Meyers soon realizes the world of politics isn't easily traversed without sacrifice. 

This film has one of the best casts assembled this year. Everyone does fantastic work and the Oscar nominations are sure to come once awards season rolls around. Thus continues the Year of Our Gosling, 2011: after a stoic role in Nicolas Winding Refn's Drive, Ryan Gosling is allowed more opportunities for actual emoting and takes full advantage of them, delivering one of the best performances of the year. He's terrific as the starry-eyed advisor, a man who honestly believes in the cause he's fighting for, slowly revealing to the audience his willingness to justify the final result of the election. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Paul Giamatti fit right in with their characters, having played variations of them before (see: Giamatti in 2009's Duplicity). Both actors were wonderful, each bringing an intangible quality that captivates the audience - we hang on their every word. Evan Rachel Wood was outstanding as the young intern who provides a jolt of energy to the story, and from what I've seen of her career, this is my favorite performance of hers. Marisa Tomei (Wood's co-star in Aronofsky's The Wrestler) also does some good work with a small role.

The look of the film can be a bit stark at times, but there's some great imagery here. Clooney's character gives a campaign speech in front of a giant American flag with thousands of people cheering him on while Gosling and Hoffman's characters argue just behind the flag. On one side, the flag represents hope and progress, and on the other side, it hangs ominously as a weighty reminder of the stakes of every decision the key players make. Every directorial choice in the movie felt calculated (in a good way), and Clooney continues to prove himself as powerful creative force in Hollywood.

The Ides of March is a must-see for audiences who love strong dramatic performances. It's not as much a great political movie as just simply a great movie, and this could easily end up scoring a nomination for Best Picture. As someone who isn't heavily invested in politics, I was captivated during the entire film and definitely recommend checking it out. Until next time...

Real Steel

It will be impossible for Real Steel to avoid comparison to Michael Bay's Transformers films, since they're all ostensibly about giant anthropomorphized fighting robots. But despite the surface comparisons, the films don't actually share very many qualities. The Transformers series is brash and loud, while Real Steel is a classic heartfelt underdog story with the DNA of Rocky, Over the Top, and many more sports movies pumping through its robotic veins. It's manipulative in all the right ways - similar to this year's other "against all odds in the ring" movie, Warrior - and even though it's about robot boxing (I know, I thought it sounded stupid, too!), it's actually a surprisingly effective story with relationships at its core.

Real Steel
Director: Shawn Levy
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Evangeline Lilly, Dakota Goyo

In the near future, human boxing has become too boring for audiences thirsty for destruction. Flesh isn't capable of sustaining the big hits that crowds demand, so boxers are replaced by robots. Ex-contender Charlie Kenton (Jackman) is down on his luck, touring the country doing robot boxing exhibitions he controls remotely from the sidelines. When his ex-wife dies, Charlie becomes responsible for the well-being of his estranged 11-year-old son, Max (Goyo). Stuck with the kid for the summer, Charlie soon realizes that Max is a video game nut who knows a thing or two about robots. With Charlie's prizefighting experience and Max's busted up old robot Atom (equipped with "shadow" function), the two set out to make it to the top and end up repairing their damaged relationship in the process.

For me, the biggest surprise of Real Steel wasn't how much I enjoyed it, but that it came from director Shawn Levy. This is the same man who directed The Pink Panther remake, my disdain for which has been well-documented on this site. (I literally didn't smile the entire time I watched that movie.) He has also directed less offensive fare, including the Night at the Museum movies and Date Night. But this is his first foray into any genre that isn't comedy, and Real Steel proves the man deserves a chance to direct any genre he wants, since he convincingly pulled off a science fiction/sports/action/drama.

This is a pure underdog tale, and though the setting and broad concept may be original, it's pretty standard as far as the story goes. But it's a well-told story with some outstanding visual effects. Levy and his screenwriters make every beat work, and add some real zest to the fight sequences by using real life boxing legend Sugar Ray Leonard as the motion capture actor for Atom, Max's robot on the rise. The blending of CGI and practical effects is outstanding, combining computer created characters with real eight-foot-tall robots.

Hugh Jackman is believable as an ex-boxer, and his character is the kind of reckless rogue you love to hate. Evangeline Lilly plays Bailey, Charlie's ex-lover, gym owner, and mechanic who helps the father and son team forge their relationship. Thankfully, Lilly separates herself from her "LOST" character Kate Austen; this isn't a brilliant performance from the actress, but it's enough to see she's got potential and good to see she didn't get pigeonholed into playing the same exact character in everything. And though it's a well-documented fact that I'm not crazy about kids in movies - they are almost always written as either an annoying hindrance to the protagonist or a sage giver of advice - Dakota Goyo didn't bother me because his character had perhaps the most common sense of anyone in the film. For the most part, he made good choices and smart suggestions, which is a relief to see on screen every once in a while. There are also some tiny moments for guys like Kevin Durand (in a "LOST" reunion with Lilly) and the inexcusably underutilized Anthony Mackie (Lilly's co-star in The Hurt Locker...huh), but not enough from either to get excited about.

This movie was one of the biggest surprises of the fall for me, considering I laughed aloud when I saw its trailer for the first time. Despite the ludicrous concept, the story (based on Richard Matheson's short story) is surprisingly effective and the movie earns all of its moments. To sum it all up in a quote for the poster: Real Steel is the real deal. Until next time...