The Pursuit of Happyness

This movie makes you feel like absolute crap.

I'm not saying it's bad. The acting was good, and the plot was based on a true story, which is why it's such a potent film. But watching someone go through terrible hardships and incredibly difficult situations while trying to keep his family together makes you shake your head in disgust for complaining about how tough you had it in class this week.


I remember talking to someone who saw this right when it came out, which was Christmas of 2006. She, too, thought that it was quasi-depressing; especially so during the holiday season. I wonder if this was an appropriate time to release such a downer-movie, but I guess the producers decided that the Christmas Break time slot was too appealing to pass up. You can't really knock them too hard for trying to make a living. And I suppose the film DOES have an overall inspiring message, but it just takes the whole movie to get to it. If you know anything about Hollywood movies like this (and you ALL do), then you'll already know what happens in the end. Seriously, they wouldn't tell the story if it ended up any other way.

For me, the most stand-out aspect of this movie was the incorrect spelling of the title. I'm a fan of correct grammar, and it always bothered me when I saw the trailers for The Pursuit of Happyness spelled with that cursed "Y" in there. Thankfully, they actually explained the spelling in the first 5 or 10 minutes of the movie; otherwise, I think I would have just assumed they spelled it wrong by accident - a sure sign of incompetence.

Will Smith stars alongside his son Jaden Christopher Syre Smith (don't look at me...that's what it says in the credits) as the father/son tandem of Chris Gardner and Christopher Jr. Not surprisingly, Will turned in another top-notch performance which actually got him nominated for the Oscar for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role (Forest Whitaker ended up winning it for The Last King of Scotland). I AM slightly surprised, however, by Jaden's performance. Granted, the kid is probably like 6 years old or something, but all I heard when this movie was in theaters was "Oh, you've GOT to see Pursuit of Happyness because Will Smith's son is SO GREAT in it!" I was expecting the next Haley Joel Osmont and ended up getting the black child version of James Franco - boring. I'm fairly positive that ANY kid who can speak English could have played that role just as well. Yeah, it's Will's son: but who cares? It felt like the only reason they cast Jaden was so that 20 years from now the Smith family can look back at this movie propped up next to their photo album and say "Awww...remember that? Wasn't that cute?" Bite me. The gimmick didn't work. Nice try though.

One of the cooler aspects of this movie was the Rubik's Cube scene shown in the trailer. Will uses his gumption to solve one in order to get a shot at a "competitive internship at Dean Witter" that's supposed to turn his life around. All this did was make me want to go out and buy a Rubik's Cube. I will solve that thing if it's the last thing I do...

Sigh. All right ladies. Yes, the movie was "cute." Yes, the kid was "cute." Yes, you might cry. And yes, Will Smith is rockin' a mustache. But on the whole, the movie was pretty average. The depressing quality that lasted for (nearly) the entire thing was too much and it ruined it for me. It served only to make me feel bad for having the luxuries that I'm blessed with in life. Plus, as Boze observed, Will Smith didn't contribute to the soundtrack for TPOH. What's that all about, homeboy? I loved "Wild Wild West" (the music video, not the movie) and "Men in Black." "Nod Ya Head (Black Suit's Comin')" was awful, and "Switch" wasn't great either, but not contributing at all? Where's your shout out to the industry that got you where you are, Fresh Prince? Where's the collaboration with DJ Jazzy Jeff? That man relies on you for work! Give him a job every once in a while.

If you're in the mood for a guilt trip with no rap song, then check out The Pursuit of Happyness as quickly as you can get it. If not, I'd say stay away from it. It really wasn't as spectacular as people proclaimed it to be when it first came out. Until next time...

Jurassic Park

By Guest Journalist Shaun Bozeman

Just go ahead and admit it to yourself: the 90’s was the worst decade of moviemaking ever. EVER. When you think about 90’s movies what is the first thing that comes to your mind? That’s right…explosions. I guess directors felt if they threw in enough pyrotechnics and crazy-ass maniacal Russians that it would be a hit regardless of the script or storyline.

Not all movies from the 90’s fell into the aforementioned stereotype though and one in particular rose up and changed the world of cinematography forever. I give you Jurassic Park!

(Enter John Williams’s theme song)

John Hammond (Richard Attenborough) has done the impossible; he has resurrected the extinct race of dinosaur for the entire world to see! For a price of course. Using breakthrough genetic technology Hammond’s team of scientists brought back every child’s wildest imagination and has put them on display in his aptly named Jurassic Park. With the park almost finished, all he needs is some good PR about the park. Enter Dr. Alan Grant (Sam Neil) a world class paleontologist, Dr. Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) his PHD student, Dr. Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) a famous mathematician. These guests could give his park the proper DAP.

On their tour through the island something went terribly wrong. A disgruntled employee Dennis Nedry (Wayne Knight of Newman fame) has sabotaged the automated system for his personal gain. The whole park shut down and dinosaurs ran around unchecked. Our hero Dr. Grant must navigate through the island, back to the main control, reboot the system, and bring order to the park once again all while facing the most cunning predators the world has ever seen. Pretty intense huh?

What is the social commentary did uber-director Steven Spielberg/Michael Crichton (best author since Dickinson) have in mind? Well Jurassic Park conveys the danger of unregulated genetic testing. This has been a common theme in other MC books throughout the years (The Andromeda Strain namely). MC gets this point across mainly through the character Dr. Ian Malcolm. Malcolm repeatedly warns Hammond that nature is a living, changing thing… trying to control it is a fool’s errand. Nature will always find a way type deal. This is foreshadowed beautifully in a particular scene early in the movie. While descending on the island Dr. Grant attempts to buckle up but comes up with two female ended buckles. He then improvises by tying the ends together to strap himself down. We learn later that the scientists bred all of the dinosaurs on the island to be female to keep them from breeding, but they mistakenly add in amphibian DNA while filling in the unknown pieces of dinosaurs DNA. This allows the dinosaurs to change gender in an all female environment.

I would be amiss to do a write up on Jurassic Park and not mention the impact it had on cinematography. Before Jurassic Park , a movie about dinosaurs would have to be shot using animatronics, or claymation or something like that, but SS and his crew pushed the bounds and proved that CGI (computer generate imagery) special effects could carry a movie.

Basically Jurassic Park is the best movie ever made (take that Citizen Kane) so go out and rent/buy/steal/rip it and have a gander. Better yet - read the book and then watch the movie… you won’t be disappointed!!!

District B13

Mikey and I had a free rental at Blockbuster recently, so Mikey jokingly picked up District B13 based solely on its cover and suggested it. I had actually heard of the movie before, but it was French. We hesitated, due to the inherent bias Americans have against all things French, but decided to give it a shot. Hey - it was free, and The Transporter took place in France. Plus it was dubbed over in English, so we didn't have to deal with French accents. We figured at least it would be entertaining to watch, and if not watch, then listen to the Godzilla-like overdubs. The movie surprised me. It wasn't the greatest thing I've seen, but it was pretty solid.



District B13 was directed by a guy named Pierre Morel, who was the cinematographer for The Transporter. Luc Besson, the producer for Statham's starring vehicle, was also the producer of B13. Just with that information alone, this movie couldn't be horrible.

It's 2010 in Paris. The story follows our young hero, Leito, who is the landlord of an apartment complex in District B13, which is cordoned off by concrete walls by the government due to its hostile setting. Gangs and drugs run rampant in that particular area, but Leito is a good guy and wants to clean up his district. So he steals 20 kilos of heroin from the local mob boss and douses it with Drano to piss him off. The bad guy, Taha, sends his goons to take Leito down a notch, but using the masterful art of Free Running (or parkour, to those of you who are savvy to such things) Leito escapes. I'm going to go ahead and insert that scene right here for your viewing pleasure. (Also, I'm fairly certain that none of you are going to see this movie since you've probably never heard of it.)



One of the coolest things about District B13 is that it stars David Belle, the founder of parkour. He's actually a pretty good actor. You really felt for him throughout the whole movie. After this sequence, Taha kidnaps Leito's sister Lola and takes her hostage for six months while Leito is in jail for killing a cop (it's OK- the cop deserved it). The film then jumps over to the other main character, a French policeman named Damien who incidentally can also perform parkour stunts extraordinarily well. (Side note: Apparently everyone in France has some sort of training in Free Running.) Damien has to stop a bomb that has been released into District B13, and enlists the help of the only man who knows the area well enough to stop it in time: Leito. The plot was the only part of the movie that I thought wasn't quite up to par. (Hah, I guess that's kind of an important aspect, isn't it? Oh well.)

The movie makes up for it with sequences like the one posted and a couple other really cool chase/fight scenes. Unfortunately, there's not quite enough of them to kick it up into the ranks of the Transporter series. Ladies, you'll probably be bored to tears through this one, especially if you get tired of staring at Leito's shirtless body for the first half hour. Ah yes, this leads me to another reason I liked the film: it's short. The movie only runs 86 minutes, which is really awesome. I've seen so many movies recently where I've said to myself, "This would have been a lot better had they lost that last 30 minutes." District B13 understands what kind of movie it is, and doesn't punish audiences for watching it. I respect that. I also liked the movie because unlike some other action movies I've seen (cough cough...Bourne Supremacy...cough), the camera work wasn't nauseating. Morel very well could have taken this approach, but I for one am thankful they stayed away from what I consider distracting film-making.

Unlike a few other movies that I've reviewed this month, B13 shockingly has an underlying message. I don't know if you guys remember the riots in Paris that happened in 2005 (a year after this movie was originally released), but the reasons for those riots were a lot of the same reasons that people in the movie district of B13 weren't pleased with the government: they had abandoned them as a lost cause because of all the corruption, drug running, etc. The film is set in 2010, which isn't far enough in the future to have the scenario of fencing off neighborhoods be too unthinkable. The message is clear: hey, French government! Step up to the plate and do something about this problem! I'm surprised to see a legitimate political statement coming from a movie that I thought would only be straight action all the way through, but the filmmakers did their job and presented a valid point to their viewers to get their minds churning.

If I was forced to rate this film, I'd give it a respectable rating. The plot definitely isn't the most intellectually stimulating thing you'll ever see, but the movie understands that and doesn't try too hard to make it work. It just kind of goes with the flow, having some fun along the way. If you don't take it too seriously, and you're in the mood for some action (and Free Running), I think you'll like it. Until next time...

The Shadow

I've been dreading writing this ever since I watched this movie a few days ago. I wanted to see The Shadow when it came out in 1994 (putting me at the ripe old age of 9), and I'm pretty sure that's the only age when I would have enjoyed this film. I didn't know who Alec Baldwin was back then.

Holy crap. I just took a gander at Russell Mulcahy's (the director) filmography - no wonder The Shadow sucked so terribly. This guy was responsible for the music videos for "Total Eclipse of the Heart," "Hungry Like the Wolf," "Video Killed the Radio Star," and the movie Highlander. I think that pretty much says it all.


The Shadow as a character has been around since 1931. He started as a pulp hero in Detective Stories magazine and eventually came into the realm of radio to entertain children and adults alike. The famous catch phrase from the days of radio was "Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!" While you can almost picture a kid in front of a radio listening to that in the 30's, this doesn't necessarily mean that it translates well to the big screen. In the movie, there were MULTIPLE instances where someone asked the Shadow's alter ego how he knew something to be true, and he responded with a wink, saying "I know" in the cheesiest way possible. I understand that they were attempting to give some respect to the origins of the character, but COME ON. It was one of the lamest things I've seen in a movie in a long time. I'm sure 90% of it was Baldwin's delivery, but that's beside the point.

The movie opens with Alec Baldwin as a brutal murderer somewhere in the Orient. The stereotypical sage old man comes along and trains him to become The Shadow: a quasi-superhero who can literally turn into a shadow so people can't see him and who has mind control powers similar to that of a Jedi. (On a personal note, I think this "power" would be better off just to mess with people than actually fight crime, but that's just me.) He comes to the U.S. and takes on a Bruce Wayne persona named Lamont Cranston, fighting crime by night in the 1930's or 40's. This is where it gets outlandish. The last surviving relative of Genghis Khan makes his entrance dressed in Mongolian battle armor and he (gasp!) has comparable mind control powers to the Shadow. Unfortunately for everyone involved, Shiwan Khan (as he's known in the film) is evil. Using his mind-control power, he enslaves people and dresses them up in the same ridiculous Mongolian armor and has them act as guards. He then tries to create an atomic bomb for the purpose of ransoming the world, but requires the assistance of a scientist (Ian McKellen, Lord of the Rings and X-Men) and his sniveling sidekick (Tim Curry, The Three Musketeers, Clue). Of course, the scientist's daughter is a fair maiden who falls in love with the Shadow, blah blah blah. This movie was so predictable it was painful.

I'm fairly certain that none of you would be crazy enough to sit through this filmic monstrosity, so I'll go ahead and give away my favorite parts. I think the best part was that when Shway Khan or whatever his name is comes back, he mind-wipes the entire city into thinking that a massive hotel has vanished into thin air. You're thinking: "Hey Ben, this sounds slightly cool." No. It wasn't. The hotel was hidden in some kind of invisible force field and everyone just kind of ignored the fact that no one in the city could remember when it was torn down. (Another hologram showed a pile of rubble where the hotel "used to be.")

Giving the movie some credit for originality, they did do one thing right. There was a cool kind of comradery between the people whose lives had been saved by the Shadow. After saving a life, the Shadow doles out a red ring for these people to wear and they join a Fight Club-type faction who doesn't speak about their roles but helps the Shadow when needed. The city has a special set of pipes running throughout seemingly every major street where special Shadow-mail gets transferred to the faction by air pressure, but apparently the city officials don't find these extra pipes strange at all. Ah yes, and I almost forgot another personal favorite. While Batman and other dark heroes don't carry weapons, the Shadow has no problem brandishing two .45 pistols and doesn't hesitate to kill people. He's more like the Phantom than Batman. (Author's Note: The Phantom was a pretty awesome movie. I watched it recently, and it stood the test of time. Kind of.)

The clip below showcases one of the most ridiculous feats of physics ever approved for the big screen. I don't know who decided to give this a green light, but they probably are no longer working in Hollywood. (The particular part I'm talking about comes in the last 10 seconds of the clip, so cut ahead if you're not up for listening to the wince-inspiring delivery of Alec Baldwin and the guy who played Ricky Tan from Rush Hour 2.)



This is another one of those movies that has no social value. It doesn't make any commentary on anything other than the obvious "nuclear bombs are bad" speech. It's not clever. The acting is horrendous. The plot is ridiculous, and not in a good way. I actually preferred Terminal Velocity to The Shadow, and that's a bold thing to say. Also, I forgot to mention that when Alec Baldwin turns into the Shadow, his face changes to look like some older man's face. I guess that's something the director could have been trying to convey: be yourself, don't let your superpowers turn you into someone you're not, blah blah blah. Wow, if that's the best I can come up with, then this movie was worse than I thought. "Who knows the evil that lurks in men's hearts?" I do. The evil is that someone approved production on this movie. Until next time...