Heat

Michael Mann (Public Enemies, Collateral) gave us his most celebrated film with Heat back in 1995. With a two hour and forty five minute run time, it will be daunting for some to complete this film in one sitting - but those who can manage the task are in for a treat.

Heat
Writer/Director: Michael Mann
Starring: Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer


I saw Heat for the first time when I was approximately sixteen years old and I failed to appreciate the finer aspects of the movie the first time around. For passive viewers (like myself at a younger age), the film is nothing more than a typical action movie; now, I see a movie that provides a closer look into the minds of two men who have devoted their lives to a discipline and refuse to back away from it, regardless of the consequences. The film stars Robert De Niro as Neil McCauley, a lifelong thief, and Al Pacino as Vincent Hanna, a robbery homicide detective trying to track down McCauley's crew. Notable in film history, Heat is the first movie in which De Niro and Pacino share screen time in the same scene - even though they first appeared in the same movie (The Godfather Part II) together back in 1974, they were never featured on screen at the same time in that film.


Also lost on me at the time of my first viewing was the wealth of talent gathered in the ensemble cast. Names like Jon Voight, Ashley Judd, Tom Sizemore, Dennis Haysbert, Jeremy Piven, Danny Trejo, Hank Azaria, and Natalie Portman meant next to nothing back then. Now, these names can be found on the roster of the Hollywood Impact Players (TM), a superstar acting squad I just invented. Every one of these actors does a great job here - turning in performances that are arguably some of the best in all of their careers (with the exception of Portman, who was too young to really have a substantial role). There are even some appearances by lower-tiered actors Tone Loc (Blank Check, Surf Ninjas) and William Fichtner (The Dark Knight) for those of you on a cameo-hunt.

With Heat, Michael Mann crafted what must be considered one of the best crime dramas of the past fifty years. Its current ranking (#133) on IMDB's Top 250 List reflects that assertion. Not only is the writing stellar, but the visual motifs established by Mann and longtime cinematographer Dante Spinotti are simultaneously subtly placed and elegantly displayed. My favorite example comes late in the movie - not too much of a spoiler here - when McCauley (De Niro) is riding with his girlfriend in the car at night, on their way toward the airport to leave behind his life of thievery. He gets a call from Jon Voight's character, giving him the location of a fellow criminal who screwed him over earlier in the movie. The girlfriend asks what the problem is, and McCauley says everything is fine; they're home free. For this brief moment, they drive through a pure white tunnel, almost blindingly bright. This represents an utter peace that McCauley has never felt prior to this moment, a serenity that he will never again experience. It's all too brief, though: they plunge out of the tunnel and back into the darkness of night, McCauley's face gets grim, and he swerves onto an off-ramp at the last second to take care of unfinished business.


This is not a movie filled with cliched one-liners or unnecessary car chases. Every plot point is planned, every camera angle meticulously set up to capture each moment as Mann the mastermind desires. His ability to capture beautiful shots of Los Angeles at night is unparalleled, seen to a lesser degree here than in 2004's Collateral, but still gorgeous in Heat. Mann has proven that he is truly an auteur, someone not willing to pump out studio-infected crap for a quick buck. This is an admirable trait, to be sure; something far too little directors are willing to take a stand for these days. But Mann's films aren't exactly the most bankable in the market (for this summer, that would be the meh-fest Transformers 2), so it's hard to predict if we're going to be seeing this type of ballsy "fight the man" filmmaking very much longer from him. [To be clear - Michael Mann is certainly not an "independent" filmmaker, nor is he a staunch opponent of the studio system. He merely commands a respect from the studios not to tinker too much with his projects while he's involved in them, and refuses to take part in material he doesn't respect himself.]


Back to the movie. The now-famous gunfight on the streets of LA, which I have posted below in video format, is something to behold. Laying the groundwork for later gunplay in Public Enemies, Mann takes the time to create this sequence and work with his sound designers to ensure that when a gun goes off in a Michael Mann film, the audience will feel like they are present in the midst of the anarchy.



It's amazing how many similarities there are between Heat and Public Enemies. Both feature:

1. A mostly "one on one" conflict between a bank robber and an officer of the law.
2. Of those two actors, one is actually a good actor (De Niro/Depp) and the other is a guy who yells a lot (Pacino/Bale).
3. A stellar supporting cast.
4. A bank robbery (with a similar speech surrounding the idea that the robbers want the bank's money, not the citizens' money).
5. An ensuing gunfight with excellent sound design.
6. A female love interest who tips off one of the characters of police presence (Ashley Judd/Marion Cotillard).

The list goes on.

Small trivia: Heat is apparently too realistic - the real life North Hollywood Shootout occured two years after the film's release and was similar to the gunfight shown above. Also, Keanu Reeves was initally signed to play Val Kilmer's role, but when Kilmer made time in his schedule to shoot Heat and Batman Forever at the same time, he was hired. Kilmer. What a badass. Until next time...

"I'm a terrible actor! I play the same part in every movie. I have...NO RANGE!"

TRON

Simply put: this movie rocks. The story is great, the actors are all very competent, and the visual effects were unprecedented for the time and still hold up when you consider them in the context of the movie.

TRON
Writer/Director: Steven Lisberger
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner, Cindy Morgan, David Warner


I had never seen this movie before, but after seeing the fantastic footage for Tron: Legacy released at Comic-Con this year, I knew it deserved a viewing. Honestly, I was a little hesitant - I mean, this movie came out in 1982 and features heavy amounts of CGI/live action combined. How good could that possibly look in comparison with the powerhouse graphics of today? The answer: good enough. Yes, it's very dated, and yes, some of the stuff is almost laughable watching it now - but within the confines of the story, the computer generated world that the visual effects team created is not only valid, it's also pretty freakin' impressive.


TRON revolves around Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), a young hotshot ex-computer programmer who is now relegated to working in a video arcade. Long story short, his programs were stolen by his co-worker Dillinger, who is now a senior executive (and ultimate bad guy) at ENCOM, the company where Flynn used to work. Dillinger has ushered in the use of a program called the Master Control Program, a cross between Skynet and the computer from War Games that thinks it can run things better than humans. When a couple of Flynn's friends (who still work at ENCOM) figure out what's going on with Dillinger and the MCP, Flynn decides to break into ENCOM and recover the evidence that will win him the respect he deserves. Lucky for us it's not that easy; when Flynn stumbles across the path of a digitally deconstructing laser beam, he gets zapped into the computer system and meets up with Tron, a program that one of the friends created to be a watchdog over the MCP. Joining forces with Tron, Flynn must put his video game skills to the test in a battle that has quickly turned into a game of survival.

If you haven't seen this, I would highly recommend it. This is a movie I think the 12-year-old me would have loved. Flynn goes through a series of Olympic quality tests to prove his worth, including a pong/Frisbee/target battle over a chasm and the sweetest part of the movie, a ride on some light cycles. I'm sure you've seen clips of this before - it's two motorcycles in a grid pattern that leave light trails behind them, and if anybody runs into one...game over for them. It's basically a huge game of Snake for your cell phone, circa the year 2000. There's a pretty epic final battle with the Master Control Program, but I won't dare spoil anything further for you.


Jeff Bridges acts in my second favorite role I've seen him in (come on, The Dude from The Big Lebowski is very hard to top), and is immensely likable as the charismatic Flynn. David Warner, who has played villains in everything from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze to "Batman: The Animated Series" (as my definitive Ra's al Ghul), adds a few more notches to his villain belt by playing triple roles in this movie. He expertly assumes the role of the conniving Dillinger, voices the Master Control Program, and portrays a character named Sark - a mini-boss who resides within the computer system. Cindy Morgan (Lacey Underall from Caddyshack) did a fine job: I honestly didn't think she had ever acted in anything aside from Caddyshack, but she proved she can play cute friend and sultry sexpot with equal gusto.

I loved the "evil corporation" aspect of this movie, especially considering it was made in the early part of the decade which brought "corrupt big businesses" back to the forefront of the public eye, mostly due to the abundance of cocaine brought into the country during those years (check out one of the best documentaries I've ever seen, Cocaine Cowboys, for more detail). But I think my favorite part is how much fun this whole movie is - every scene contains a level of curiosity or excitement that is rarely matched in today's films. And that innovative light cycle scene? So cool.



The fact that this movie was made at all is a technological feat, and, if you're a fan of the film, the story behind its creation is worth a read over at Wikipedia. Steven Lisberger, the writer/director, was clearly a Star Wars fan since there are two blatant homages to A New Hope found in TRON. He did a great job considering this was his directorial debut, dealing with new technology and commanding trust from his actors that the project would turn out as he envisioned. It's got to be hard, breaking new ground - but this guy stepped up to the plate and hit it out of the park. Lisberger is returning to co-produce the sequel Tron: Legacy, which follows Kevin Flynn's son Sam as he becomes embroiled in the same virtual reality construct in which his father once inhabited. I'm really looking forward to that movie's release date now (2010, in IMAX 3D), and am interested to see how first-time-director Joseph Kosinski updates the technology involved while still keeping the story in line with the first film. Until next time...

The Spanish Prisoner

The Spanish Prisoner
Writer/Director: David Mamet
Starring: Campbell Scott, Steve Martin, Rebecca Pidgeon, Ricky Jay


Apologies up front for the pitiful sound quality in this video - crank your speakers and hopefully you'll be able to hear it. This is the first webcam video I've tried since I got my new computer (and I don't have my editing software installed on this computer yet), so needless to say this is not the best video you'll ever see. The sound is delayed, and I won't make you put up with this again: but I'm not re-recording this one. So hey - thanks for reading/listening/watching anyway.



Something I forgot to mention: The title is taken from the name of a famous con, similar to that e-mail scam that has been making the rounds for years about the Nigerian prince. All you have to do is send over (insert amount here) and once he's out of prison or extradited or whatever, he'll double your money with his vast riches. There's a sucker born every minute, so I guess if people are dumb enough to fall for something like that they're getting what is coming to them. Until next time...

Vampires on Bikini Beach

Though the title misleads you into certain assumptions (mainly: this is going to be awesome!), Vampires on Bikini Beach has climbed into one of the biggest honors Ben's Movie Reviews can bestow - The Worst Movie I've Ever Seen.

Vampires on Bikini Beach
Writer/Director: Mark Headley
Starring: Stephen Mathews, Jennifer Badham, Todd Kaufman


This prestigious honor was previously held by the infamous horror film Crossbones, a sentiment shared by IMDB users who claim Crossbones is "the worst movie ever made...ever!" That film revolves around a reality television crew (ironic, I know) that travels to a deserted island to make a TV show but comes across a resurrected pirate who, for some reason, is hellbent on killing them. If that sounds appealing to some of you, I assure you - it is not. We fell into the same trap. I actually own the movie (Wal-Mart prices of $5.00 have that effect sometimes), so if anyone is interested in seeing how bad it is in its full glory, hit me up and I'll let you borrow it.

Vampires on Bikini Beach, however, came to us through the wonder of Comcast On Demand free movies. It's hard to truly comprehend the cinematic abombination that I beheld viewing this 1988 "film" last night. I was continually shocked with how it got progressively worse over time, my mouth agape as the movie unceasingly lowered the bar for the criteria once thought necessary to create and distribute a legitimate film. (I hesitate to call it "legitimate," since it certainly doesn't fit most definitions of the word - but being added to the Comcast playlist and having the potential to be viewed by millions puts it over the edge.)

This and the poster are literally the only relevant pictures from the movie that come up in a Google search.

The premise revolves around a group of about seven friends, aged in their late teens or early twenties, who have no real jobs and do nothing but hang out at a California beach all day. A couple of the guys, Harold and Bob, are in a pure 80's pop band and perform occassionally at a local club, where all of their beach buddies go to groove to the beats. Too bad we, the audience, are also subjected to this music. There were at least three full songs performed in the movie, and all of them were predictably ridiculous. For two of the songs, the camera sickeningly stays in the club for the entire duration, cutting back and forth between a vapid dance floor with only white people dancing on it (come to think of it, I don't think there were any black people in the entire movie) and the intoxicatingly putrid lead singer - a Steve Perry/Stan Bush wannabe who had about as much stage presence as a can of creamed corn.

When Bob and his new girlfriend Kim get roughed up in a sketchy alleyway behind the club, they discover that their assailants have dropped a "Book of the Dead," which apparently holds spells that will bring back the dead. These scenes are intercut with scenes of a "classical" vampire (complete with medallion, cape, and slicked back hair, not to mention a mask worse than most found at any costume store around Halloween) who has inexplicably made his hideout in a warehouse near the club. His goal, aside from using the Book of the Dead to bring back Hitler and other minions to form an army and take over the world, is a completely useless and poorly conceived subplot in which he tries to kiss various women with the hopes one of them will survive and become his mistress of the dark. Too bad all of them die. Of course Kim gets pulled into the warehouse late in the game and is seconds away from kissing the vampire (whose name is Falcor or something), but she is saved at the last second. But I'm getting ahead of myself.



Kim first meets Bob when his old car breaks down on the side of the road near the beach, but it's never explained how the car is repaired and they get in and drive away. The friends (one, a woman, is named Clark) are all brainless morons who serve no purpose, except for one dude who is evidently a computer guru who uses a standard computer to access information about the Book of the Dead. Needless to say, with a 1988 release date, this is pre-internet. Also, pizzas are cooked and delivered in record time in the Vampires on Bikini Beach universe, proven by an elapsed time of about a minute and thirty seconds between an ordered pizza and the doorbell ringing with the delivery guy on the other side. (That is literally the only good thing about this movie. The concept of pizza being delivered in blazing speed.)

One would assume the title would imply an abundance of beach footage, hard bodies, sexy females, bathing suits, etc. This is not the case. There are about three beach scenes in the entire thing, and little to nothing of the implied footage above. There is one montage of a bunch of girls trying on bikinis at "the bikini store" (I wish I was joking when I say that's what it was called) and a group of guys oogling them from the store window. This montage is set to the third song played by the club band, which is thankfully never given a name. It also does nothing to advance the plot, and I don't even think anyone buys a new bikini. They never return to the beach after this point, so we never find out if the trip was even necessary. Here's the part where I lean forward, close my eyes, and start to rub the bridge of my nose.

I won't cover all of the unmotivated actions of the group and the vampires because that would fill a solid thirty paragraphs. So I'll stick to some basics in bullet point form.

• The vampires have no selection process of the girls they bring to Falcor.
• I have no clue how our "heroes" discovered the vampire hideout.
• The heroes didn't call the cops when they found a dead body. Instead, they touched everything they could near the murder site and dug around for clues to something of which they had no knowledge anyway.
• The group summons a spirit of their own by reciting random spells from the Book of the Dead (always a good idea), and this ghost guy ends up battling the vampire at the end. His weapon of choice? A neon cross that looks like it was two pieces of PVC pipe duct taped together.
• There is a scene where the group runs into a location to see if someone is there. They open the door, look in, and run out. That's the entire scene.
  
• SPOILER ALERT. At the end, two of Bob and Kim's friends are turned into vampires and they lie in a hospital bed frothing at the mouth and spasming in their restraints. Bob asks Kim in a snarky voice if she wants to "grab a BITE" and they leave. They don't tell any hospital employees what happened, or call the cops, or get a real doctor, or try to help their friends in any way. They leave them and go eat.

The production design was nonexistent. It honestly felt like two guys were working on the entire production of the movie, and more than half of their set design came in the form of shining random lights at skewed angles across walls in the background. They didn't ask themselves whether or not there was a reasonable light source for the audience to recognize - even in an alleyway, they clearly illuminated everything in a strange blue hue (why? I have no idea) from a lamp post, and then shone a yellow light at a bizarre angle across the back wall. Where does that second yellow light come from? The moon? Only in that weird strip of an angle? I don't think so. This happens often - and by often, I mean in every single exterior night scene in the movie. It also should be mentioned that 90% of the audio was clearly overdubbed in post production, and in the most shoddy way possible from the sound of it. There were times when the vampire would be speaking a sentence, and then mid-sentence his mouth would stop moving but the words would still be playing: I'm guessing the filmmakers thought we'd figure these speeches were inner monologues (this phenomenon occurred multiple times), but it obviously turned into one of the most piss-poor technical achievements I've ever laid eyes on.

I've seen better acting in high school drama classes. The only accolade you could throw at the actors was they did an admirable job of memorizing their lines. That's right - they completed the most basic task an actor has to accomplish. As far as delivering those lines in a coherent, interesting, compelling fashion? Take a wild guess if they succeeded. So aside from the offensively atrocious acting, the worst crime the filmmakers committed was the choice of where to place the camera. The writer/director (what a talent) Mark Headley and his director of photography (if you can call it that) made the baffling choice to place the camera as far from the action as possible within the confines of the same room. Dialogue would be taking place on the far right corner of a room, and the camera, I kid you not, would be in the back left corner completely away from everything that's happening. And it would stay there. There were no tracking shots zooming in closer to the characters, no panning to closer characters in the room. Most of the time, the scenes that I'm describing were supposed to be scenes of intense significance: a computer geek hacking into a database to unlock secrets of the Book of the Dead, the group figuring out their gameplan, even in the vampire's cave during a "fight scene" when most of the lights go out in the scene. [We decided that someone behind the scenes accidentally unplugged the light cord from the outlet, but they only had enough film for one take so they kept acting anyway.]



I think I've devoted more time and effort reviewing this than it took for the esteemed Mr. Headley and crew to write and direct this entire movie, so I'll stop for fear of making them look worse than they already do (as if that were possible). I'm thankful for seeing Vampires on Bikini Beach because it gave me a new low to measure against all new lows, so if nothing else it made its mark in my personal cinematic archive. I would recommend it only if you wish to mirror the effect, because I truly don't believe anyone on the planet can look at this and say "that was a great movie." I would go as far as to say someone who has only seen this ONE movie out of all the movies in the world would swear off every other film because of how bad this was. But I digress. Until next time...

Two more things.

1.) In 2007, Mark Headley was signed to produce a remake of the classic Gary Cooper western High Noon. High Noon is widely considered one of the best westerns of all time (and I agree - it's phenomenal), so seeing it in this guy's hands will undoubtedly be one of the most disappointing cinematic events of my lifetime.
2.) I came across a review of a movie called Monster of Bikini Beach, which you can read here. Spin-off? I think so. (Not really.)